Late Night Chat With Sam

9:15 PM Sam: I'm in the canyon
me: again?
Sam: yes
Just kidding
9:16 PM I just went grocery shopping and took the baby so I am out of the canyon
me: nice work
were you really in the canyon for ditching all day?
Sam: not really - after all I was taking HER sister to the airport
9:17 PM me: that's true
you are a wonderful brother-in-law!
no pun intended
9:18 PM Sam: where would the pun be?
For a second I thought this was lauren
or is this lauren?
me: it's Joseph
9:19 PM Sam: so back to the pun then?
me: you are my brother and you are a lawyer
Sam: Ahhh, got it, nice
me: and you are also Emily's brother-in-law
dual meaning
Sam: yes - I am slow
my bad
me: that's a pun right?
9:20 PM Sam: si senior
me: did pj head home?
Sam: PJ might be moving to Cheyenne
yeah
me: that would be cool
to work for American National?
Sam: he may get a job on the air force base as a civilian finance person
9:21 PM me: would he get all of the government benefits?
Sam: si senior
me: would he get to fly jets?
Sam: proly
and kill people
me: do they have any more openings?
where you wouldn't have to kill people>
9:22 PM Sam: he said he would start at like 70k
but that includes killing people
me: I would take 60 G's without the killing caveat
Sam: would that be enough to get you here?
9:23 PM me: what's the job?
Sam: Not sure
me: military finance...
Sam: not sure if PJ knows
me: sounds pretty sketchy
9:24 PM Sam: Brent told him about it
me: the gov't just prints all the money they need
I think that job would be EASY!!
Sam: I think he might actually be printing money
with like an inkjet printer and scanner
9:25 PM me: I've been printing some extra 20's to help us get a little ahead
actually just so we can go out for dinner every Friday
Sam: lol
Red lobster hasn't caught on yet?
9:26 PM me: not when I give the watiress two of the hot bills every time
we have a special table in the back
Sam: with all the other members of the Phoenix mafia
9:27 PM you sit around and eat processed meats and talking about whacking people
me: ...no comment
there was a lady that they say got thrown out of a car onto the highway this last week and got hit by 3 cars and killed
9:28 PM possibly mafia related
Sam: for reals?
me: yes
she was crawling in the HOV lane
Sam: mafia related?
me: oh that
I don't know
gangs maybe they said
9:29 PM Sam: and you say that becuase you are mafia?
me: ...no comment
Sam: lol ... but that is horrible
was she older?
me: 30
Sam: wow
that makes me sick
me: I know
can you imagine driving along and then seeing a person crawling on the highway
9:30 PM people wrecked swerving to miss her
Sam: stop it
seriously
me: yes
Sam: lets talk about something less grim
like your Ipod nano
did you say nano or shuffle?
me: shuffle
like Michael Scott
9:31 PM it's "average"
Sam: no new episodes for like 3 weeks, right?
me: I know
we got the DVR specifically for that show
Sam: I am preparign a strongly worded email to NBC
me: and it's pissing me off really bad
Sam: are you crying right now?
9:32 PM me: there are tears welling in my eyes
but I'm blinking them back
Sam: I got bashed in the fact today playing b-bal
might have boken my nose - again
me: where's the fact?
Sam: its like the front of your back
me: chest?
9:33 PM did the ball hit you
or a fist?
Sam: shoulder
in teh face
where my nose is
me: ouch
Sam: bleeding out of both nostrils
gushing
face numb
me: did you swallow a bunch of blood and then vomit?
Sam: seeing stars
me: you always do that
Sam: no, but I have been peeing blood all day
9:34 PM me: that's because of your ED
but way to try to make it sound like a b-ball injury
Sam: did Kim tell your about my ed?
she tells everyone
me: mom has been telling everyone
9:35 PM Sam: lol
that would totally be mom if it were true
me: but she said that even with ed you still have a really big member
biggest of the boys in fact
Sam: I am getting grossed out
me: I'm just saying what mom said
she always trys to stick up for you
9:37 PM she didn't really say that
are you crying now?
9:40 PM Sam: sorry my computer has been freezing up lateley and it just did
what did I miss?
9:41 PM me: I don't know how far to go back
do you remember about the lady on the highway?
Sam: yea
me: me printing 20's
Red Lobster?
Sam: we were talking about a comparison to set the record straight
me: ED?
9:42 PM so like a photo thing with a ruler next to it?
or live?
Sam: live
all in a row
me: who will judge?
Sam: vera
me: in that case just ask her
she's done physicals for us all
and I'm sure she'll remember
especially mine
9:43 PM Sam: well, its been a while and I think I may have made some "progress"
me: have you been popping extenze?
Sam: among other things
me: using an aparatus?
Sam: lol
9:44 PM me: I just inject HGH every other day
Sam: seriousyl I am laughing my head off right now
it is hurting my broken nose
do you think HGH would actually work>?
9:45 PM me: my testicles are a LOT smaller but so far I haven't seen any difference up above
I think it's supposed to just make a comparative difference
Sam: are you sure its not just a relative thing
me: exactly
9:46 PM Sam: so shrink the beans to make the pork look bigger>
me: the before and after photos are astounding
Sam: I am going to give that a shot
any way you could shoot me over some before and after shots?
9:47 PM me: it looks like my legs have bulked up too but I think that's just relative too
they're on Lauren's blog
just go check them out
Sam: alright will do
9:48 PM well, I am going to save this conversation for posteratiy
or maybe post it to our blog
I gotta get some crap done
I am getting released from Ward mission leader tomorrow and being made YM president
9:49 PM me: wow
next stop... bishop
Sam: probably area authority, but I can live with bishop
me: I'll help you campaign if you need
I know some powerful people in the Phx area
9:50 PM just let me know
Sam: I'll think about it
me: I'll let you get going
goodnight
Sam: night - thanks for the laughs
me: you too!