Antique Show Society

This conversation stemmed from another wonderful post on Craig’s List. The post is gone, but paraphrasing it read something like this.

"I am getting kicked out of my mobile home because I have 3 horses, 4 dogs, 8 gerbils, 10 rabbits, a couple of pigs, a duck, 500 porcelain clowns (mint condition), and 30 … oh wait Lucky Miller just had another litter … 34 cats. I have been ordered by law to get rid of some of my animals, so I am posting on here for Lucky Miller, my most favorite cat. If you are interested please bring 2 forms of ID, proof of residence, medical history, social security number and bank account numbers (PIN numbers must be included), proof that children do not live in the home nor will they ever be permitted to enter the home, 10 year employment history with 3 current pay stubs, $300 cash, and you must be willing to submit to a background check. I’m also selling this thing $35 or obo."

“This thing” appeared to be some sort of grill. Because of my extensive skills in North American antique identification I recognized it right away as a register cover, and the following conversation ensued …

On Sun, Jul 12, 2009 at 9:03 PM, Sam Shumway samshumway@gmail.com> wrote:
You guys remember the days when to get rid of kittens you would put them in a box with a sign reading "Free, take one"

On Sun, Jul 12, 2009 at 10:22 PM, Joseph Shumway shumway79@gmail.com> wrote:
I would not recommend trying to negotiate any of the terms on this deal. They have spelled out their requirements very clearly and with a serious seller like this, there are bound to be several other people interested in Lucky MILLER! Unless you are prepared to get into a bidding war and probably end up dropping around $55-$60 you had better just get your deed and ID's scanned, plan a semiannual trip to Casper and call as soon as possible.

From: John Shumway http://wyoming.craigslist.org/for/1301014582.html
I will pay $5 towards purchasing this item if anyone can tell me what it is
On Tue, Aug 4, 2009 at 3:51 PM, PJ Shumway pshumway1312@hotmail.com> wrote:
It’s obviously an old heater vent cover. I think $35 is quite reasonable. I would pay $80 if it didn’t have to be refinished.

On Aug 4, 2009 2:56pm, John Shumway shumway76@gmail.com> wrote:
Register = old heater vent cover? I don't think so. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.

On Tue, Aug 4, 2009 at 5:27 PM, shumway79@gmail.com> wrote:
The photo is obviously an early 1970's (my guess would be '73) vent register? I'm pretty surprised you don't recognize it. There were a bunch of these old registers upstairs in the elks lodge. PJ and I would scrape the paint off and eat it. I know that these are very hard to come by any more so $35 is kind of a steal.

On Aug 5, 2009 5:44am, John Shumway shumway76@gmail.com> wrote:
Sounds pretty believable. But if I give you credit for your answer I will have to give PJ credit as well. And that's just not going to happen. I award you no points and you are hereby disqualified.

On Aug 5, 2009 9:09am, shumway79@gmail.com wrote:
John, would you run by and pick up that register for us? PJ and I went in on it together. He mailed the cash yesterday so the seller should have it by now. He's going refinish it so I can bring it back to Arizona with me when I come in September. I have a buyer here in Phoenix who is going to pay me $85 for it when I get back! The address is: 751 Cypress Ln. THANKS!!
From: Joseph Shumway shumway79@gmail.com [mailto:shumway79@gmail.com] so I just googled "register noun" and found this definition on merriam-webster.com "5 : a grille often with shutters for admitting heated air or for ventilation." This whole time I have been playing along as if PJ had just pulled his answer out of the air. PJ should be on the antique road show! I wonder if it really would be worth $80...

From: "PJ Shumway"
Joseph, I have been invited on numerous occasions to be on the Antique Road Show and I continue with my stance that until the US-ASS (United States Antique Show Society) accepts vintage nude Barbie Dolls as an American Standard I will not be associated with their organization. I started a group on Facebook as a way to compete with US-ASS its called My-ASS. I figure if I turn up the heat through My-ASS their ASS will really start to clinch up and accept barbies into all ASS’s.

From: samshumway@gmail.com
Wow. That was sooo wrong...beautifully, brilliantly, wrong.

From: shumway79@gmail.comDate: Wed, 5 Aug 2009 19:47:59
I'm sitting here in the break room at work giggling like a girl.

From: nate shumway [mailto:nate1312@hotmail.com]
I laughed so hard reading that I blew a little bit of snot out of my nose.