Google Voice at it again...

So the perverted Google Voice transcriptionists are at it again.  Kim got this message this morning.

The transcription read: "Hey Kim, It's Andy, Can you give me a call as soon as you know that I know it's a choice sex self just give me a call. Thanks. Bye."

Two questions: What is a "choice sex self" and who is Andy?

embarrassing moment

I know this isn't a personal story, and we kind of have an unwritten rule that you post only personal stuff here, but I read this the other day and laughed really hard...really hard.  I edited it slightly to keep it PG-13 rated.  I'm not even sure if this is real, but...

So I walked around all morning totally oblivious to the fact that I had an old sock sticking out of my pant leg.  What is your most embarrassing moment? 

Response 12: 

"So I was sitting there in my philosophy class trying to crack my back in my chair, and this hot girl saw me, really, really hot.  I kind of had a thing for her for a couple of months, and we smiled at eachother and stuff but she sat pretty far away so we didn’t say much more than “hi.”  Anyway she saw me doing that and it was before class actually started so we could move around and stuff, so she came up and offered to crack me back for me, and I thought it was kind of weird, but I accepted.  So I stand up and she crosses me arms in front of me and stands right behind me and sort of picks me up onto her and bounces me (have you ever seen people crack backs this way?  I have seen it, but it is weird to explain)

Anyway, it wasn’t working, so she tried a huge bounce.  Something popped really loudly, but then when she sat me down I couldn’t feel my legs it was like they were totally asleep.  So I freaking collapsed in a heap on the ground, my legs going off in weird directions.  Then I heard a hella loud farting noise and proceeded to diarrhea in my pants, I was so embarrassed and I looked up at her face and she was just disgusted and everybody was like what the hell is going on so I tried to get up and run away, but my legs didn’t work.  I couldn’t move, and over the next thirty seconds or so my colon empties really loudly.  My teacher was hella mad and thought I was just being a freak crapping on the floor, but after a while they realized I wasn’t kidding around and they called an ambulance.

So I went to the hospital, and it turns out when she cracked my back somehow my spinal cord got pinched in between my vertebrae and they straightened it out with some emergency surgery and now I’m completely fine

So…I never went back to that school.”

John Armpit Shower

I took some artistic liberties when creating this cartoon based on a true story.



John, please feel free to add any details about this experience as you see fit.  Also, feel free to delete this post as you see fit.

Dad vs. Aerator

This is my amateur depiction of a story about Grampa Joe S. using a gas powered aerator to fix up the back yard.  Please pay attention to the story only and not the quality of the animation.

I'm In Trouble

Google Voice is at it again.  The worst part about this situation is the fact that I set it up so that all of our transcribed voicemails are sent as a text message to Lauren's cell phone.

I got this message today:

"Hello, This message is for Joseph, This is Chris, Calling from, I. T, strip tease. I'm calling to let you know. Your order is ready for pickup. Thank you."



My "order" was the trophies for the pinewood derby coming up this Saturday.  The boy's dads are going to be working EXTRA hard to make sure that their boy's car is the fastest this year!!